Where It All Begins

Emily, Co Owner

He asked. You said yes. The journey to happily ever after begins.

Something else that begins is the relationship between daughter-in-law (DIL) and mother-in-law (MIL), which can be a bit less black and white. With her new website, http://www.daughterinlawdiaries.com/, creator and DIL, Ali Katz conquers the joy and complexities of family with a blog that is a fresh mix of girlfriend banter and expert advice.

Last week, Ali asked me to share some do's & dont's on wedding gown shopping with your future MIL. See my top tips for brides below or read the full post at http://daughterinlawdiaries.com/category/wordsof-wisdom-105/ . 

1.      Protect the Appointment
Before you can protect the sanctity of your marriage, you must first guard your bridal appointment! As wonderful a time as bridal shopping can be, it is not the time to bring on the entourage. I recommend a maximum of three guests. Usually your mom is guest #1, and the other two should be people who truly know you, your style, and who respect your wedding vision.
2.       Set Ground Rules
If you read that last sentence and thought, “My mother-in-law and I have wedding ESP! She is definitely in!” Then it’s a great idea to set some ground rules. For example, do you want gown prices talked about openly? Should your budget considerations to be common knowledge? Then when you arrive at the boutique clue in your consultant as to who is with you and any special requests. (A fabulous bridal consultant will ask! I hear they do that at Mia…) Knowing these tidbits allows your consultant to better assist you, manage the appointment and be a buffer if needed.
3.      Humor Thy Mothers
It’s a Mom mantra, “You never know until you try it on,” followed by, “For me? Please?” Well moms around the world can do a victory dance, because with regards to bridal, it’s true. Gowns look completely different on you as opposed to the hanger, so stay open-minded! Now, what to do if that gown your MIL is holding evokes your gag reflex? Humor her! Trying on one or two of her requests will go a long way, trust me!
4.      Creative Inclusion 
Returning back to the idea of three bridal shopping guests, perhaps you’re overwhelmed at the idea of including your MIL, but still want her to feel included. Cue the “Final Selection” appointment. During this shorter, follow-up appointment, you can invite your MIL (or eager aunts, grandmas who need to only make one trip, or those giddy bridesmaids) to see your decided gown and help you finalize the less critical details; veil, jewelry, reception sash or other accessories. Set your appointment for an evening during the week, perhaps after work. The bridal boutique will be quieter and you won’t have to ask friends or family for their weekend time.
5.      Honor Thy Mothers
For whatever myriad of reasons, maybe it didn’t work out for your MIL to be a part of selecting your wedding gown. That’s ok! In the end, what makes an MIL happy is to feel respected and special, which is very much due. She did raise the person you will spend the rest of your life with! Honor her by asking for a token to carry as your something old or borrowed. Or ask for a piece of fabric from her gown to sew into the slip of your own dress.

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